Jaye Ratio

I first met Jaye Ratio when we took a class at Bodhi Spiritual Center in Chicago.  Jaye intrigued me from the very beginning.  At the time, I was not sure why but I took notice of my reactions whenever our paths crossed.  The reason for my fascination soon became apparent.

Jaye embodied the unexpected.  One evening they would show up dressed in a plaid shirt, tee and jeans.  The next class, they would be wearing lipstick with a full beard, dangling earring, a blouse and flowing skirt.

Jaye became my muse.  Every time I saw them, my spirit was reminded of freedom and the hope of breaking free of limiting beliefs.  Last summer, Jaye sat down for an interview with me as part of the #BodhiConnection series.

 

 

The Trust Walk

During my Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual Center, my classmates and I took part in a trust walk.

After a guided meditation, everyone in class was instructed to complete a trust walk with their prayer partners.  We each would take turns closing our eyes and being lead in a silent walk by our prayer partner for ten minutes.

My prayer partner is Mariluz, a vivacious woman who glows with her love of life and others. Mariluz was nervous when her 10 minutes to be lead began.  She grabbed onto my hand tight and giggled a lot.  As the minutes, passed she seemed to relax but kept smiling and giggling.

When it was my time to be guided, I noticed several things.  While I held Mariluz lightly, she grabbed me tightly to her. There was a required trust to ensure I followed her physical queues and did not trip. Bliss began to rise in me and lasted throughout the exercise.

Without needing to process my surroundings, I was free to relax and feel. My senses expanded to feel the wind on my face, the heat of my partner’s body against mine, the sounds of passing cars, and voices drifting on the breeze. The tears I shed at the end of the trust walk were from joy and release.

After the walk was completed, we returned to class and were instructed to sit in silent meditation.  Once everyone returned, Rev Lola said a prayer and the meditation ended. She asked the class to share their experiences.

What I learned from listening to various people is that I am not that different from others. Several people felt the joy and release of giving up control and being guided. They felt the bliss of trusting and being loved.  

You can do the trust walk with your family and friends. It is simple and will highlight aspects of yourself that you may not be aware of. Things like:

1. How easily do you trust?
2. Are you comfortable with vulnerability?
3. Are you comfortable with non-sexual intimacy?
4. Can you relinquish control to another, and do you feel relief when doing so?
5. Do you need more touch?
6. Do you need more support?

My experience with the trust walk left me with clear answers to each of these questions. I hope it’s useful to you as well.

With Love,

Sherry

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The featured photo is of my Spring 2017 Bodhi Foundations class.  My prayer partner, Mariluz, is the first person in left-front row.

 

Here in this Place

By Kenya Dockens

Yesterday I cried

I allowed myself to release

for a moment to be free

of all the thoughts imprisoned inside and against me

I let myself breathe

 

I blew off the steam like a pot of tea’s

loud burst of heat releasing pressure

I unlocked the key

And with a single step

ended the great depression

 

Yesterday I cried

Streams of guilt, shame, disappointment, and rejection

masking the truth of my mirror reflection

Owning my fears with no doubt or question

Feeling what I feel with no objection.

 

Every tear is freeing

Uncovering Seeds of fear buried in the soil of my spirit

I find hidden fears Manifested like weeds in my being

Growing the needs of redemption

Yesterday I cried with intention

No longer a victim

I surrender to this place of Divine intervention

No longer stuck

Peace between the perception of broken pieces

I’m waking up

 

And in this place I am free

Whole and complete

Like a drop of water in the ocean

The spirit of God surrounds and moves through me

I sow seeds of love and attract like energy

Today I am breathing and yesterday ceases

I know that God is all there is

And I am the son

You are love

And We are one

As we grow in grace

I declare greatness for you

 

And I am so grateful to be here in the place with you

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The poem was written and recited by a Foundations classmate, Kenya Dockens, at Bodhi Spiritual Center in Chicago.  I was moved by the sheer quantity and variety of talent in our class. I will post other pieces over the next few weeks.

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A Letter to Myself

A few days ago, I received a letter in the mail.  My husband assumed that I accidentally addressed something to myself (this has been known to happen).  He handed me the envelope and waited for me to open it and concede that he was correct.  Instead, I received a surprise.  Inside the envelope was a single small sheet of paper torn from my daily journal containing a handwritten message to myself.

At the beginning of the Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual Center in Chicago, students were instructed to write a letter to ourselves about what we wanted to accomplish by the end of class. We were to write what our lives would look like at that time.  The letters would be mailed to us after the class ended.  Here is what I wrote:

At the end of Foundations class, I expect to have lost 20 pounds and increased my workouts to five days per week. I will adhere to my spiritual practice every morning and night. I will speak clearly, with passion and confidence. I will walk fully in love and grace. My heart will know self-forgiveness for past mistakes. I will be comfortable with the love I feel for others. I will embody love. I will accept love. I will be as love in the world.

I will have a clear idea of the next job/career I will pursue. It will call to me and pull at my soul. I will feel a great joy when I think of this job/endeavor/project. It will feed my spirit.

Progress Against Objectives

• I have lost 20 pounds since the beginning of the class
• I am continuing with my daily spiritual practice
• I have moved to a space where I love more freely and accept love and affection from myself and others
• I continue to work on identifying job and career objectives

Thanks for reading a bit about my life.

With Grace,

Sherry

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This post was written in response to the daily prompt:  paper.

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Divine Purpose Can Weave a Shadowy Path

In Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual Center in Chicago, we discussed the concept of divine purpose. The idea that we somehow maintain a memory of our lives when we leave the physical realm. That we have enough awareness to create a plan for our soul before we are reincarnated. We choose our parents and life experiences so that we can grow and learn on the soul level. I woke up thinking about this because of a cable show I watched the night before.

It was a series that followed young men within the prison system. They interviewed one young man who was sentenced to life without parole as a 16-year old because he killed a man. He told the interviewer that due to problems with his mom at home, he would run away from home regularly. During this time he made friends on the street and found out that a few of them were being held in a home by a local man who was known to take in runaways.  He did not explain why the confrontation ended with him shooting the man five times but he seemed at peace with the event.

When I think about this in terms of soul’s purpose and living our destiny, I wondered if his primary purpose in this lifetime was to save those young men being held prisoner in that house. What if all his family turmoil and running away put him in the position to fulfill his soul’s purpose? And with his purpose fulfilled, he is now living out a life sentence in prison experiencing more freedom and peace than most of us will ever know. It is a dangerous line to tread for sure. Murder is a crime, but the mysteries of life are all around us.

Then I noticed myself trying to attribute some type of worthiness to those being saved. As if one or more of the rescued boys must become outstanding citizens and contributors to society to be worthy of his sacrifice.

Perhaps, there is the lesson. He did not save the boys so that they can become doctors, lawyers, fathers or whatever we deem worthy of safety and protection. He saved them simply because they were his friends. They were human and he did not believe they should suffer. He believed they deserved to be free.

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The Cry of the Soul

Eternal am I, birthless and undying; centuries old am I,

yet have I the freshness of youth.

Eons of time have I traveleled,

yet am I unfatigued.

Eons ahead of me stretches my path,

yet am I resolute and unafraid.

Storms have raged,

yet I have pressed on.

Air and sea and the remotest corners of the earth,

I am known to them all.

Exquisite agony and ecstatic joy have throbbed within me.

Highest heaven and deepest hell have left their memories.

I have passed through the waters of sorrow and been unharmed.

I have passed through the gates of death and yet do I live!

And so it is……

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A poem from Wisdom of Our Elders by Dr. Dan Morgan.

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Bound by Time

I have a collection of watches. Not because I am a watch connoisseur but because I am obsessed with time; constantly recalling the past and worrying about the future. This practice has held me bound — stuck in place for several years. Too afraid to move forward due to the fear of repeating past mistakes. Or even worse, suffering from the unexpected tragedies that befell so many that I cared about as a child. It is as if looking at my watch is a way to past the time safely until I die. If I can make it just one more day in safety, I have been successful.

“Death is the mirror in which the entire meaning of life is reflected.” – Ernest Holmes

This occurred to me after a recent session with my spiritual practitioner, Joan Coletto. When I arrived at her house for my appointment, I was tired and sad. Suffering from a cold, low energy and an ache in my heart. I felt an intense loneliness and grief that I could not describe.  She asked me to think back to the first time I felt this feeling.

The image which came to mind was of a 4-year-old me sitting on an apartment floor sobbing. My house had just been robbed and not only did the people take my favorite items, they stole a precious pure bred dog that I was deeply attached too.  Snowball was pure white, fluffy and a sweet heart who often kept me company and showed me constant affection. It was a devastating loss.

Joan then asked me what beliefs developed from this experience. They were:

• It is dangerous to have nice things because people will take them from you.
• Someone wanted to hurt me and my mom.
• You should not be too happy because people will want to hurt you.

Tears were streaming down my face during the entire time I was talking. As I pictured the scenario, I seemed to feel the experience as if it was happening again. Joan then asked where in my body I felt this grief. It was my stomach. The place where I hold most of my feelings and try to numb them with food.

We moved forward in my memories to a time when I was a little bit older where my beliefs were effecting how I experienced the world. After a few moments, I saw myself as an lonely 8-year-old riding my bike in circles around a school yard. Several feet away were kids playing and making happy noises. I looked longingly at them but did not try to join the group. I was afraid they would hurt me through rejection.

Back to present day, much of the time I am alone. Usually it is okay because I want to be alone and was used to the isolation. But things have changed. I have connected with several loving people at Bodhi Spiritual Center. There is a level of consistent intimacy in my life that was never there before.  So this weekend, when I was following my usual habits of indulging in isolation, I felt intense sadness.  Being disconnected is no longer who I am. It is no longer what I want.

“Nature will not let us stay in any one place too long. She allows us to stay just long enough to gather the experience necessary to the unfolding and advancement of the soul.” – Ernest Holmes

It is time for me to live in the present. To accept that I am no longer stuck. To let go of my preoccupation and fear of time and to move forward. Time to unbound my soul and be free like I am meant to be.

With Hope and Love,

Sherry

Your Mess is Your Message

“Our human problems are emblematic of areas where we are being called to grow, to peck into a new paradigm.” – Rev. Michael Beckwith, D.D.

I wrote this post at 3am because it was a burning thought in my mind. An epiphany that would not let me sleep.  In the last Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual Center, Rev. Lola Wright said, “Your mess is your message”.  I have pondered that statement for several days.  It sparked several questions:

• What have you witnessed?
• What is your recurring life lesson?
• What do you have yet to learn?
• What have you learned from your experiences that can be of use to others?

I have figured out my mess and the life lesson I can impart to others: Self-Advocacy.

In an earlier post, I shared a timeline of my life which highlighted several moments of despair and disappointment. It would be easy to say that these incidents were all due to the irresponsible or insensitive adults in my life but as I completed the forgiveness exercise which asked me to consider the role I played in each devastating event, I realized my role was almost always the same. I assumed the role of victim and did not advocate for myself. I did not speak up. I did not fight. I did not even cry or beg for mercy. I just accepted the circumstances as they were with an odd mixture of pride and shame. On some level, there was pride in how much I was able to endure and still remain better than my abusers but I was still doing myself and others a disservice by remaining quiet.

We each have key roles in our lives which hinge on our ability to self-advocate — as children of parents, as employees in the workplace, as patients in the medical system. These are all key roles where we can be severely damaged if our best interests are not honored.

This is not an effort to victim-blame. I have had enough therapy to know that I was frozen by trauma but I also know that my life lesson is to learn how to stay awake. How not to freeze or disassociate or let things go unnoticed and unanswered. I am here to be an advocate for myself and for others.

My mess is my message.  Be an advocate. No one will take care of your needs like you.

With Grace,

Sherry

Related Articles

• Forgiveness Heals
• Spiritual Liberation: Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential
• Forgive and Forget Does Not Work: Try This Instead [Forgiveness Practice]

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Visioning and Guided Meditation: My Soul’s Purpose

It was our seventh week of Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual Center . A lot took place this evening, besides for the love canal exercise, we enjoyed a guided meditation by Reverend Lola Wright. In this particular case, she was guiding us to envision our soul’s purpose.

Class members were directed to either sit in a chair or take a comfortable position on the floor. Some of us were laying down and others were sitting.  As Reverend Lola lead us through the meditation, I seemed to be extremely aware of my body. Constantly shifting out of discomfort.  Yet, I noticed a difference. I was okay taking up space. Sitting straight up with my legs open. My body language said I was open to this experience and the results proved fruitful.

Reverend Lola walked us through a visioning exercise created by Rev. Michael Beckwith, D.D.  The questions and my responses recorded during class are below:

What is Spirit’s highest vision, Divine idea for the expression of my Soul Purpose?

To create/generate collaboration for the healing of humanity. To fully embody my loving spirit and give it away to nourish others.

Who must I become to be an avenue through which this Vision manifests?

A fierce soldier of love — passionate, eloquent, confident and devout.

What must I release?

I need to release regret, shame and anger.

What must I embrace?

I am of God and one with God. I am loved and I am love.

What must I commit to, to live this vision?

I must commit to letting go of the past, forgiving myself and others and living in the present. I must commit to loving myself fully, as I am right now.

Is there anything else that wants to be revealed?

Not at this time.

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The Love Canal

The love canal is one of the most transformative experiences I know of.  To love and to accept each other exactly as we are, to see and know the truth of each other as whole, holy, perfect demonstrations of life…that is the consciousness that heals.  ~Rev. Lola Wright

In this week’s Foundation class, our Bodhi Spiritual Director and class facilitator, Reverend Lola Wright lead us through an amazing exercise known as the love canal. It is a symbolic spiritual rebirthing process.

During the exercise, the participants were to feel loved, supported and continually connected as they passed from one end of the line to the other. The constant touch and closeness of those in line was meant to simulate the birthing experience. The room was dark, hot and quiet except for a meditation song by kirtan vocalist Jai-Jagdeesh “Meditations for Transformation: The Expansive Spirit” playing in the background.

The class was divided into two lines of people facing each other. One by one, we each walked through the tight space while our classmates whispered words of affirmation in our ear. The goal was for them to speak the truth of who we are and for us to open our mind, heart and soul to accept the words. Or as Reverend Lola told me before my procession began, “Let the words wash over you.”

Before my walk began, I stood at the start of the line with my back to Reverend Lola. As I waited to start, she trailed her hands across my arm and back. She was standing so close that I could feel her breath on the back of my neck. At the same time, she was in constant contact with the person across from me who would walk next. No one was left untouched. Everyone was grounded and prepared.

Everything was heightened during this sacred time. The exercise was conducted in silence except for the people who were whispering into the loved one’s ear as they passed. There was no time when a hand was not connecting with them, stabilizing them, guiding them and caressing them. It was a loved filled space. A heart filled moment and a soul touching experience.

There were smiles and tears of joy throughout the evening. I felt love for everyone.  Most especially, for myself.

With Love and Wonder,

Sherry

Daily Affirmations

Each day upon waking, I listen to my body and mind to decipher what they are trying to tell me. Is there a pain in my body that needs to be acknowledged? Is there a thought that comes as soon as I awake. I use what I feel and hear to create my affirmation for the day.

To affirm means to declare positively something is true. An affirmation is a positive statement asserting that the goal the thinker wishes to achieve is already happening. Affirmations are effective tools for training your thoughts and feelings regarding what you desire to experience in your life; they are an important part of your Spiritual Practice. Using a seed/soil/plant analogy, your affirmations are your seed thought, placed into the creative medium (soil), in which they are nurtured and from which the form (plan) of your life experiences are created.

There are five universal affirmations defined by Emma Curtis Hopkins, known as the teacher of teachers in the New Thought Movement. These affirmations are also called spiritual mind  treatments:

1. My Good is my God. My God is Life, Truth, Love, Substance, Intelligence — omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent.
2. In God I live and move and have my being.
3. I am Spirit, Mind, Wisdom, Strength, Wholeness.
4. The I AM works inevitably through me to will and to do that which ought to be done by me.
5. I am governed by the law of God and cannot sin or fear sin, sickness or death.

As part of my spiritual practice, I repeat a set of affirmations throughout the day as a form of active meditation. The words can be repeated while I shower, walk down the street, fold the clothes or any other task which does not require complete concentration. Repeating the affirmation has the multiple benefit of reducing my heart rate and calming my mind due to the meditative state which occurs. If practiced regularly, it will also change the tone of my inner critic. That voice that constantly reminds me of my mistakes or insecurities will become less and less frequent. It may never go away, but with practice I will have control to stop the negative thoughts once they begin.

Day 1

I am health.

I am wealth.

I am abundance.

I am enough.

Day 2

I am health.

I am wealth.

I am deeply loved.

Day 3

I am health.

I am wealth.

I am whole.

I am forgiven.

Affirmations can be simple or complex. If you are a beginner like me, it’s best to keep your affirmations to one sentence that you can remember and repeat over and over. This must be something that rings true to you when it is said. I’m new to expressing myself spiritually, so my affirmations are very simple. Here are some that I repeated over the past two days:

On day five, my affirmation became more detailed:

I am wealth.
I am health.
I have a voice and I have been healed.
My soul is forgiven and I have forgiven others.
Life is rich.
God is gracious.
I am grateful for my awareness and oneness with God.

What’s key to the exercise is being clear on what you want to manifest in your life. The subconscious is not only the storehouse of everything internalized by you, but it is the maker of your condition. We act in ways to prove our subconscious beliefs because it is our nature to seek truth.  It was Descartes who said, “I think therefore I am”.  Shape your thoughts to reflect your ideal self. Do not put energy towards repeating your flaws or mistakes. The brain will automatically take up that role. Your role is to be commander of your mind.

As part of my Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual Center, I have made affirmations a daily part of my spiritual practice.  The Foundations of the Science of Mind class workbook offers the following tips:

• Put your affirmation in places where you can easily see it to remind you to keep it in your thought.
• Repeat it often, speaking enthusiastically and powerfully, with feeling. Do this at least 3 times per day, when you wake up, mid-day and when you go to sleep.
• Write your affirmation out repeatedly in your journal.
• Record the affirmation and play it back to yourself while doing activities around the house, driving, or going to sleep.
• Visualize yourself in the experience that the affirmation describes, feeling the feelings, seeing what your world looks like around you. Actually be in your body experiencing your body, seeing with your eyes and feeling with your feelings! The stronger the felt experience the greater the message placed into the action of spirit.

As part of my day-long retreat for Foundations class at Bodhi Spiritual center, we reviewed the 5 steps of affirmative prayer also known as spiritual mind treatment. During this process, we identified God values which arose within us. We also made a list of ways we currently describe ourselves. Here’s mine.

At the end of this, we each developed an affirmation statement.  My first version was as follows:

I am a creative being embodying peace, wholeness, harmony and well-being. My full potential is being realized through an ideal job which allows me to grow and share with creative expression and grace.

The class members practiced their affirmations several times by walking around the class and repeating it to others.  Each time I repeated the affirmation, I took note of how it felt. Did it feel authentic? Did it resonate with my soul? Was I speaking truth to what I really want?  After refining the statement, I have the following:

I am a creative being realizing my full potential by embodying peace, hope and well-being.

So make your affirmations positive. Make them authentically yours and repeat them everyday.

May your journey be a great one.

Sherry

Embracing My Shadow Self

Yesterday was full of realizations.  When I awoke, I felt an immediate need for self-love. I am currently struggling with a health issue. There is a stress fracture in my left tibia and a mobility issue with the associated knee.  The pain often disturbs my sleep, so mornings have been difficult for the past two months. This experience has made me aware of two limiting beliefs I still must work to release:  my lack of health and my need to suffer.

So I chose the affirmation “Know you are Loved. Rest in Peace. Dream your sweet dream, until your soul is released.”  These are lyrics from the song “In Dreams” by Jai-Jagdeesh. I repeated this while touching the areas of my body that were tense or in pain. Eventually, a feeling of well-being overcame me and I started my day. During my morning routine, I continued repeating the affirmation. Alternately, singing, speaking or humming the statement. In class, it was suggested that we record ourselves for five minutes repeating the affirmation and then listen to it throughout the day. I will do that later this week.

Later in the afternoon, I felt a pull to read more of the information I found on LonerWolf.com pertaining to our shadow selves and how we can not achieve wholeness without integrating all aspect of ourselves.  This means we must embrace our inner darkness. As children we learn to start fragmenting ourselves as we are taught what is “good” of “evil”; socially “acceptable” or “not acceptable”.  These rejected parts of ourselves do not go away, they just get pushed to the shadow but they have enough power to control us and have a tangible effect on our lives.

So I went to Foundations Class at Bodhi tonight prepared to do more soulwork and possibly some shadow work.  Shadow Work is the practice of working with your Shadow Self. Your Shadow Self is the “dark” or animalistic side of you that lives in your unconscious mind. Shadow Work is a vital part of soulwork.

Class started with a prayer followed by guided meditation.  During the meditation, we were instructed to ask ourselves questions about grace.  The Science of Mind text book defines grace as follows:  “Grace is the givingness of Spirit to Its Creation and is not a special law, but a specialized one. In other words, Grace is, but we need to recognize it. It is not something God imposed upon us, but is the logical result of the correct acceptance of life and of a correct relationship with the Spirit. We are saved by Grace to the extent that we believe in, accept, and seek to embody, the Law of Good; for the Law of Good is ever a Law of Liberty and never one of limitation. Limitation is not a thing, not an entity, but a belief. Freedom is a Divine Reality.”

Here are the five questions Rev Lola raised during our class meditation on grace along with my responses:

1. How might grace work through me?  I will write and share my experience of spiritual awakening with others.
2. What is the highest idea of grace here in me now? The pursuit of spiritual enlightenment and personal growth.
3. Who must I become such that grace may have its way with me? Open, confident, disciplined, ordered, intuitive and loving.
4. What must I release so that grace may have its way with me?  Belief in suffering and lack.
5. Is there anything else I need to know so that grace can have its way through me? That I am loved.

After the meditation, everyone in class was instructed to complete a trust walk with their prayer partners.  We each would take turns closing our eyes and being lead in a silent walk by our prayer partner for ten minutes. Mariluz was nervous when her 10 minutes began.  She grabbed onto my hand tight and giggled a lot.  As the minutes, passed she seemed to relax but kept smiling and giggling. When it was my time to be guided, I noticed several things.  While I held Mariluz lightly, she grabbed me tightly to her. There was a required trust to ensure I followed her physical queues and did not trip. Bliss began to rise in me and lasted throughout the exercise. Without needing to process my surroundings, I was free to relax and feel. My senses expanded to feel the wind on my face, the heat of my partner’s body against mine, the sounds of passing cars, and voices drifting on the breeze. The tears I shed at the end of the trust walk were from joy and release.

After the walk was completed, we returned to class and were instructed to sit in silent meditation.  Once everyone returned, Rev Lola said a prayer and the meditation ended. She asked the class to share their experiences. What I learned from listening to various people is that I am not that different from others. Several people felt the joy and release of giving up control and being guided. They felt the bliss of trusting and being loved. This realization lead me to the final breakthrough of the day. To the acceptance of an aspect of myself I have always denied.  I am submissive.

There is no longer shame, anger, rejection or hostility towards this aspect of myself. I accept the submissive in me. I am committed to accepting all aspects of my shadow self so that I can live a fully conscious and integrated life.

Here are some highly recommended articles related to shadow work:

• How to face your darkest, disturbing thoughts.
• Illuminative Ways to Encounter Your Shadow Self
• Shadow Self Test:  How Dominant is Your Dark Side

I hope you enjoyed the article. Let me know if you have any questions.

With Grace,

Sherry